The Debt of Doing More. Productivity Is a Currency.

Another day, another space in the messy middle of this life journey.

This week has been the longest year of my life.

It seems that the more time passes, the quicker the pace becomes. It seems the more time passes, the more is demanded of you, of me, of us. Some would say that's a late-stage capitalist system. Others would say that's just life. Others say that's what it takes to be successful.

The truth is, I don't want to grind my entire life. How many people were hyperproductive in life and never made it to their end goal? Sometimes you have to pause and ask yourself: What am I running for?

What are you running towards? What are you chasing? The anxious quickening that happens in your stomach when you feel like you should be doing something or you're not doing enough -- what is that all for?

You're taught to do more, be more, reach new heights, go new places, start your own business, become a millionaire, get another degree, etc, etc.

It's just a constant question: what's next?

Not only is it draining, but thinking in such a way tells your brain that you are not good enough. It forms new pathways that say, "I am not enough. I lack. I do not have."

It’s not just you feeling this way. The cycle of never-enough is by design. This system thrives on you feeling lack. Because if you feel a lack, you'll go out and spend. Spend more money, more time, more energy, more resources, more more more.

Even astrologically, this theme shows up. The push and pull between scarcity and security plays out between the 2nd and 8th houses.

The 8th house in astrology is a house of shared resources, possessions, loss, letting go, dependency, debt, power, control, and some of your fears. It is directly across from the house of values, money, your personal resources, possessions, and self-worth (2nd house). Internal security is so often tied to external security (and that's so real, but again, by design).

Isn't it so interesting -- when people want you to give more of yourself to this world, they make you feel like you do not have?

Isn't it interesting that in the USA, the majority of people are in debt? 90% of people here have some form of debt. Obviously, it's built that way (ya know, credit), but there is a direct link -- at least astrologically-- between debt, lack, self-worth, and your response to it -- which for many, ends up being a trauma response.

Deficiency is used as a trigger that leads to an even deeper scarcity response that says, "I must do and be more." The good ol' Captain Productivity.

Whether you believe in astrology or not, the pattern is clear. When people are made to feel like they don’t have enough, they overcompensate. In today’s world, that often looks like productivity, working harder, and doing more to prove worth.

However, this is why productivity is so much bigger than how much more you can produce.

For businesses and corporations, increased productivity leads to increased profitability, reduced costs, and greater competitiveness. But what does productivity do ... to you? You are not a machine nor a business. However, you are sold a one-grain idea of productivity, and it's costly, but it's also easy to sell.

Because listen,

Humans tend to fear loss more than they appreciate gain. The idea of having to give up something or of losing something is threatening to a lot of people.

Then, here comes Captain P, ready to save the day because productivity seemingly fills this loss gap. Productivity becomes compensation (see, you're spending something).

Sidenote: Capitalism regards your body and productivity as compensation for you even being able to live in this country. It's like a contract none of us signed. And if you aren't providing this compensation, they surely don't want you here.

Regardless, the energetic, emotional, and physical compensation says, "If I do and produce more, then I am more and I receive more."

It's y=mx+b, but what happens when the more produced isn't an upward slope? Well, there's the burnout. There's the "I'm not good enough," the "I'm not doing enough," and the "I need to do something."

And is this cycle really sustainable?

Sure, you produce more, but you also create a sense (keyword: sense) of gain that balances the perceived loss. Each task completed tells your brain, like proof, that you've done something, and you’re still in charge of your time, value, and the results.

But it's an illusion.

The filling and compensation do not satisfy the fear. It actually buries you further in debt. When the loss aversion is stronger than the satisfaction of achievement, you get stuck spinning your wheels without fulfillment and gratitude. Gratitude and fulfillment are deep feelings of contentment and joy. They are emotional responses of fullness that will even make you cry at times.

But instead of protecting your resources (time, money, energy, etc) and bringing this deep sense of fulfillment, over-productivity can actually drain your resources further. You’re spending energy to avoid the feeling of loss, but in doing so, you create a real deficit. You may avoid the fleeting feeling of loss, but the loss is very much still there.

And the second you get a moment of pause or introspection, especially for long periods of time, is the second that lack creeps in -- and then the cycle continues.

I've always said it: when you feel like you're enough, you'll feel like all of it is enough. The work, the time, everything you put in, what you do, the results, and more.

If you find yourself saying these things (or any variant):

• If I don't do xyz, then I won't...

• If I don’t grind now, I’ll fall behind.

• If I don’t finish this, I’ll regret it.

• If I don’t do more, I’ll miss my chance.

• If I don’t work harder, I’ll let everyone down.

• If I don’t keep going, I’ll lose everything I’ve built.

• If I don’t control myself, I’ll crash out.

• If I don’t say yes...

• If I don’t achieve this..

• If I don't do this now..

• If I don’t do it perfectly..

• If I don’t stay busy..

• If I don’t get ahead...

Then, I regret to inform you, but you’re in a cycle of self-imposed debt. You're threatening yourself with loss. Why are you threatening and punishing yourself?

Balance your productivity. You may say Kemi, but how? How are you balancing your productivity?

I'm doing what matters most. I'm doing what matters that day at that time. I'm allowing myself to be present. I'm simplifying my systems (which is why I only have 1 note each week with to-dos and time blocking). I'm pausing when I feel triggered into doing more. I am healing. What's here? Prioritize that.

I want you to try 3 things this upcoming week for your productivity:

1. Choose one to two systems to stick to and only those. Focus on those. Please, simplify.

2. For 3 days, record what activities fill you and what drains you. Show yourself daily: what nourishes me? A template for this daily work is available in my book here.

3. Instead of asking “What will I lose if I don’t?” ask “What might I gain if I do?” One reframe my therapist told me years ago: It's not "I should," it's "It'll benefit me if I..."

These changes move you out of threatened debt and self-judgment and back into possibility and wholeness. The productivity cycle never lets you arrive. You’re always one step away from collapse. You're always bargaining with a shadow of loss. You're always spinning your wheels, laboring to silence the fear of owing rather than just doing for creation.

But friend, it is not about doing more or being more. You are whole. They say work smarter, not harder. That's it. It's not about how much you can do. It's about how well you flow with your energy and time to get results when you need to.

Please remember that you are not indebted. Productivity is not the determinant of your worth, and you get to determine what you spend -- energetically, physically, and emotionally.

With love,

Kemi Kem